How can you tell if you're actively listening with your husband, wife, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, family member, work colleague, customer or client?
How can you tell if you're actively listening to YOURSELF?
Are you actually hearing the meaning behind your own words and also the words that 'they' are speaking to you.
If we are feeling that others are not listening to us, sometimes we are not listening to ourselves and that's the first place to start.
Listening to the music behind the words that you're using.
Below there are 18 statements, for each statement, write down whether you consider it to be True (T) or False (F).
_______ 1. Most people are brought up to be good listeners.
_______ 2. People's thoughts can interfere with their listening.
_______ 3. Listening is a natural activity.
_______ 4. To be able to listen to others, people need to be able to listen to themselves.
_______ 5. Being a good listener never requires self-discipline.
_______ 6. People may resist listening to others who blame and get angry with them.
_______ 7. People are more likely to talk to people with whom they feel safe and accepted than with those whom they do not.
_______ 8. It is always up to other people to communicate precisely what they want.
_______ 9. People who have something that they can't wait to say, listen well.
_______ 10. Some people listen too much because they're afraid of revealing themselves.
_______ 11. An important aspect in developing trust is listening and keeping confidences.
_______ 12. Talking is more important than listening in interpersonal communication.
_______ 13. The amount people reveal about themselves is likely to influence the amount others tell them about themselves.
_______ 14. Fatigue never affects the quality of people's listening.
_______ 15. People who feel very emotional about issues are good listeners.
_______ 16. Listening to others does not involve paying attention to their voice quality and body language as well as what they say.
_______ 17. People who are very angry are rarely good listeners.
_______ 18. People sometimes send mixed messages which are difficult for the listener to understand.
How did that feel? What did you discover about a) your own listening skills and b) how you listen to yourself?
Why not take this to your Journal and explore s'more?
This is something that is coming up in client sessions a great deal, there seems to be a theme running through here - are we listening to ourselves, to our bodies, to our spirit self. Are we hearing the nudges? From experience, listening to ourselves is just as important as listening to others, especially if you're working in the helping/healing professions.
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